 A little over 4 weeks ago, I heard about a workout program called the Summer Shred through an online community I am a part of called E3. Having been working out consistently 3 days a week since around November, with no results, I knew I needed to try something different. The program was something like $12, so I bought it, not really knowing what I was in for. After finding out what I had in fact paid for, I got really nervous. The program involved a lot of lifting actual barbells and way too much rowing for my liking. Beyond the barbells, it also called for pull ups once a week. I can't do a pull up! Thankfully, I convinced a friend/co-worker to do it with me. This helped me get over the fear and try it anyway. As part of the program, we were strongly encouraged to take before pictures and take measurements. I didn't want to do either. What happens if in 4 weeks nothing changed? My thought process; that could happen, which means I would have failed, which means I probably just shouldn't try. Terrible, I know, but this is somewhat normal for those of us who identify as Enneagram 1's. We are labeled the perfectionist or sometimes the reformer. If it's not right, we want it fixed. If it's not perfect, what's the point. I have struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle all of my adult life. I have tried so many different things but never something that would be a quick fix. What inevitably happens is one of 2 things: 1. I work really hard, see results, think I probably can't do any better so I stop 2. I work really hard, see no results, quit because what's the point No more! Even saying that is pretty risky because the reality is, I will probably screw up again. And that's ok. Here is what I am learning in all of this: PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION The funniest thing is that I am usually pretty quick to celebrate progress in those around me even though it has not achieved perfection. But in myself, progress is weak, perfection is necessary. It makes no sense, therefore I am leaving that behind and practicing celebrating myself just as I would celebrate with one of my friends. I recently listened to a podcast from Annie F. Downs where she interviewed two people who identify as Enneagram 1's and that is when I realized this idea of progress not perfection. No coincidence that it was the night before I had to take my after picture and take my after measurements. I wasn't even sure I would do it. But I did. And while I still don't love the picture, progress was most definitely made! Every number went down and the evidence was clear in the pictures. I wish I could say I jumped up and down with excitement, but I didn't. I still didn't feel like I could celebrate. The picture was still bad. Something I wasn't proud to show anybody. But as time went on, I remembered what I had heard in the podcast. It's about PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. I wish I could say fitness is the only place I struggle with believing that motto. It is not much different from my spiritual journey. Sanctification is a fancy word for the journey God takes us on when we trust Him with our lives (justification). This journey is meant to make us more like Jesus prior to being glorified and reunited with Him. And we will not reach the end of sanctification on this side of Heaven. So if I live to the average life expectancy of 78.69 years, it will be a long while before perfection. And if that is true, living disappointed in the lack of perfection instead of celebrating progress would lead to a pretty depressing life. And I ain't about that! So whatever it takes, I'm doing it. This may include vulnerability with my community. It may mean memorizing new scripture. It may mean saying no to things that pull me away from fellowship with Jesus. For you, it could be something different. Are you willing to do what it takes? I think you are. I know He will. So what now? First, summer shred doesn't stop. I have committed to celebrating progress and continuing on. It will continue to be difficult to fight against the fear of failure, but that is just what I will do. Fight. Secondly, I will continue to fight for my faith. My journey with Christ is very much like my fitness journey. It's a long road which will include many unexpected turns and detours. I may even get turned around at times, losing ground along the way. Yet God, in His great mercy, will never lose sight of me or fail to walk with me. Even better than that, He is glorified in my weakness. "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 I loved what one of the interviewees said in the podcast: "My pursuit is not perfection, it's Jesus. And when I pursue Jesus, progress happens." This is what I want my life to be about. So if you are anything like me, remember that while you are advocating for others, Christ has already advocated for you. It is finished. You just need to keep on walking. And while you walk, you will keep on growing. Much love friends. 
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Today is Teacher Appreciation Day.
I have no doubt it is not an accident that it is in May. We have been giving our all since August and everyone knows summer is coming without having to look at a calendar. Because if it doesn't come, we may not make it. I used to get very upset when people would tell me I'm so lucky to have an entire summer off. Do they really have no clue what it is like? No Regan, they don't. And that's ok. Teaching is hard, and after 9 years of teaching I assumed it would be easy by now. It hasn't gotten easier, but it has gotten better. My first year teaching, I had to quickly grab the teacher next door so that I could go cry in the teachers lounge during class. I have grown, that hasn't happened since! My third year teaching I developed eczema while stressing over state testing. My fifth year teaching was by far the hardest year I have had so far (multiple factors involved, see also My Story). My seventh year teaching left me frustrated. My eighth year teaching I had to work around the many Harvey stories with my students. Here I am in my ninth year wondering why it can't be easier. But then I remember that God has called me to this. I remember that He has equipped me for this. I remember the letters students have written me. I remember that I have an opportunity unlike most. I get to speak life into teenagers on a regular basis and show them what it means to struggle, fail, and eventually succeed. I get to show them what success looks like. Not success for their friend, or the "other kid" who just always gets it, but success for them. I have the joy of reminding my students that their identity in Christ is the only thing that is eternal. This my friends, is not easy. But these kids are worth it. With the many messages they encounter every day, it is important that there are adults in their lives speaking truth and life into them, face to face. The hardest part, we often don't see the moment the kid gets it. We are so deep in it that it's hard to step back, look at the bigger picture, and know that what we are doing is making a difference. That's what I want Teacher Appreciation Day (or week :)) to be about. I want to believe that what I'm doing matters. I want to see a small piece of fruit if God would be so willing to show me. And if I don't, I will still press on. And yes, a free coffee or Route 44 from Sonic might help me! Shoutout to the many people that have helped me get where I am today in my career. Just as it takes a village to raise a child, it most definitely takes a village to keep a teacher. There have been too many to name here but I remember you and, thank you. My encouragement to you on this Teacher's Appreciation Day is to speak life into a student in your life this week as well as a teacher friend. This will help us all keep growing. Because the church needs us.
The story of the woman at the well encountering Jesus in John 4 has come up more than once in the past few months in my life. There is so much we can learn from this account. The thing that I have held on to the most is the power of the woman's testimony. Many people are familiar with the story of the woman at the well and in particular Jesus calling her out on having multiple husbands which is the reason for her being there at noon when it is blistering hot (something Houston understands all too well). But the way the story ends is what is so compelling to me. "So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, 'Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?' They went out of the town and were coming to him." John 4:28 - 30 The relationship she now had with Jesus left her changed. The relationship had an effect. She couldn't help but go tell the people of her town, which is actually kind of miraculous considering she had been previously living in so much shame (again, reason for her going to draw water in the blistering heat). Meanwhile, Jesus' disciples come back from going to eat and bless their hearts, they just don't get it. They are trying to get Jesus to eat something and He explains that He has food they don't know about. So now they are confused. Who brought Him food? Was it better than what we ate?!?! (my interpretation) He clears the air... "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work." John 4:34 Jesus understands the mission and is trying to get the disciples on the same page. I love Jesus' patience with them because I know that I need the same patience and usually more. He goes on to explain to them that both sowing and reaping are happening. There is reaping to be done as a result of what others have sowed and there is also more sowing to do. "Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest." John 4:35 So then we see again, the impact of the woman's testimony. "Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, 'He told me all that I ever did.'" John 4:39 The next verse is where I see the application for myself today. "So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days." John 4:40 Jesus clearly understood that relationships matter. He understood that while some believed simply on the word of the woman's testimony, others would need a little more time. And what do we see happens... "And many more believed because of his word." John 4:41 Is this not the great commission? That all would come to know Jesus and have a relationship with Him? We have Jesus as an example to follow and this story is no different. What do we have to learn from Jesus in this story:
Jesus did not need the Samaritans. He's Jesus. But this wasn't about Him and as followers of Jesus it's not about us. We may feel like we don't need the church because we already know Jesus and have a community, but there are so many people who need the church so that they can know Jesus personally just as we do. It is important that we share our story with others so that they might believe. It is also important that we show up for those that will come to hear for themselves and then believe. A few weeks ago in my life bible study class at church I met a couple that was coming to visit our class for the first time. I talked to them for a while and explained the set up of the different classes and encouraged them to try another class to see where they would fit best. They sat at my table during class and later that week I reached out to the girl to tell her I was glad she came. She found me at church this Sunday to tell me that she had indeed tried another class and that she would be coming back to our class. Her words, "It just makes sense considering the relationships I made." Wow. I love this and am so thankful I was there for God to use me in that moment. We need the church you see, because relationships matter. When you feel like it won't matter or you're just too tired, remember Jesus' example and choose to be obedient and in return be blessed. |
Regan RayI have a lot of thoughts so I decided to put them all here. Archives
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