A little over 4 weeks ago, I heard about a workout program called the Summer Shred through an online community I am a part of called E3. Having been working out consistently 3 days a week since around November, with no results, I knew I needed to try something different. The program was something like $12, so I bought it, not really knowing what I was in for. After finding out what I had in fact paid for, I got really nervous. The program involved a lot of lifting actual barbells and way too much rowing for my liking. Beyond the barbells, it also called for pull ups once a week. I can't do a pull up! Thankfully, I convinced a friend/co-worker to do it with me. This helped me get over the fear and try it anyway.

As part of the program, we were strongly encouraged to take before pictures and take measurements. I didn't want to do either. What happens if in 4 weeks nothing changed? My thought process; that could happen, which means I would have failed, which means I probably just shouldn't try. Terrible, I know, but this is somewhat normal for those of us who identify as Enneagram 1's. We are labeled the perfectionist or sometimes the reformer. If it's not right, we want it fixed. If it's not perfect, what's the point. I have struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle all of my adult life. I have tried so many different things but never something that would be a quick fix. What inevitably happens is one of 2 things: 
1. I work really hard, see results, think I probably can't do any better so I stop
2. I work really hard, see no results, quit because what's the point

No more! Even saying that is pretty risky because the reality is, I will probably screw up again. And that's ok. Here is what I am learning in all of this:

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

The funniest thing is that I am usually pretty quick to celebrate progress in those around me even though it has not achieved perfection. But in myself, progress is weak, perfection is necessary. It makes no sense, therefore I am leaving that behind and practicing celebrating myself just as I would celebrate with one of my friends.

I recently listened to a podcast from Annie F. Downs where she interviewed two people who identify as Enneagram 1's and that is when I realized this idea of progress not perfection. No coincidence that it was the night before I had to take my after picture and take my after measurements. I wasn't even sure I would do it.

But I did. And while I still don't love the picture, progress was most definitely made! Every number went down and the evidence was clear in the pictures. I wish I could say I jumped up and down with excitement, but I didn't. I still didn't feel like I could celebrate. The picture was still bad. Something I wasn't proud to show anybody.

But as time went on, I remembered what I had heard in the podcast. It's about PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. 

I wish I could say fitness is the only place I struggle with believing that motto. It is not much different from my spiritual journey.

Sanctification is a fancy word for the journey God takes us on when we trust Him with our lives (justification). This journey is meant to make us more like Jesus prior to being glorified and reunited with Him. And we will not reach the end of sanctification on this side of Heaven. So if I live to the average life expectancy of 78.69 years, it will be a long while before perfection. And if that is true, living disappointed in the lack of perfection instead of celebrating progress would lead to a pretty depressing life. And I ain't about that! So whatever it takes, I'm doing it. This may include vulnerability with my community. It may mean memorizing new scripture. It may mean saying no to things that pull me away from fellowship with Jesus. For you, it could be something different. Are you willing to do what it takes? I think you are. I know He will.

So what now?

First, summer shred doesn't stop. I have committed to celebrating progress and continuing on. It will continue to be difficult to fight against the fear of failure, but that is just what I will do. Fight.

Secondly, I will continue to fight for my faith.

My journey with Christ is very much like my fitness journey. It's a long road which will include many unexpected turns and detours. I may even get turned around at times, losing ground along the way. Yet God, in His great mercy, will never lose sight of me or fail to walk with me. Even better than that, He is glorified in my weakness.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I loved what one of the interviewees said in the podcast:
"My pursuit is not perfection, it's Jesus. And when I pursue Jesus, progress happens."

This is what I want my life to be about. So if you are anything like me, remember that while you are advocating for others, Christ has already advocated for you. It is finished. You just need to keep on walking.

And while you walk, you will keep on growing.
Much love friends.
​

The struggle is so real y'all!! It is not inevitable (in fact very avoidable) but is in fact difficult to stay disciplined on the "health" front at the beginning of every school year. And so here we are, in October and I'm trying to get back on it. I might also add that age most definitely increases the difficulty. It is probably a linear relationship but lately it feels exponential.

Anyway, I have decided that I would do something. And that I would do "something" every day. I figured I needed to establish a minimum or else I will not do anything. It's crazy to think about the difference between nothing and something.

It is not just kids that need to be given things in small pieces. Sometimes as adults we need small chunks at a time so that we have the motivation to move from nothing to something. I am a to do list person and I have seen how that is so necessary to my productivity at work and in life. Especially when I think about the school year as a unit, I can get very overwhelmed. So I make a list and I get the next thing done. And then the next, and the next and you get the point. I don't see growth in my students in a weeks time. Sometimes, I don't even see it within a year, like I wanted to. But as long as "something" is done, growth will happen. While I would like to think I have patience in my classroom, I struggle to have the patience to see growth in certain areas of my life. I want to be done getting healthy but unfortunately that's not how that works. Just as my faith does not work in that way which I believed to be true before God rocked my world. 

But here I am, growing in all things, including leading a healthy lifestyle. I receive any and all encouragement! Thankful for friends that encourage me to keep going. Here is the minimum "do something" I have established: